Sunday, July 30, 2006 @10:48 PM
I dont know what's becoming of me.I wanna go to work.I wanna earn money for myself.But there seems to be no windows or doors opening for me to fulfill it.Mybe before that i should just master the art of communicating.All my feelings are jumble up.I do believe in fate and luck but i dont know if its rite to say this ,im slowly losing my faith oredi.I feel that ive gone to zillions of interviews and being turn down one by one.Rejections after rejections after rejections.The reason i write this is also to just to pour out my feelings.Maybe its Depression that ive slowly realised about myslef.I don't wanna go and tell my friends i haven gotten a job and i'm worried about it.Maybe they will get sick abt it cos there's no other topic to talk about.And it makes it worse when ur mum is screaming at u 24/7 and pressuring u.She even went to the extent of making me do sembahyang sunat taubat and say maybe ive done too many sins that this is kinda result out of it.I dont wanna think it that way but maybe she has a point.Maybe this is karma.Something is wrong somewhere and the best part is i don't know what it is.People keep on telling me its not the time yet.I'm at the downside of the wheel.Maybe its just a small matter. And Im getting paranoid.I feel so helpless!I wanna be patient ,i gotta be patient and i should be patient.
<3 ing every page of my imagination